Top 5 things you should be thinking about when writing a wedding speech

Our top tips for your important destination wedding speeches

We have all experienced a wedding speech or two in our lives and I’m sure we can all agree that we have seen the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to this important part of the day. As a destination wedding planner in Italy, I personally have witnessed many wedding speeches and wedding toasts in my career. It is actually one of my favourite parts of the day, having planned with and got to know the couple personally, it’s always nice to hear funny and emotional stories from family members and close friends as well of course as the groom/bride themselves. These days couples marrying abroad don’t always follow set tradition when it comes to who is speaking and/or the order of speeches when it comes to the wedding day.

Here below we talk about important things to consider for your Italian destination wedding when it comes to writing a speech…

1. Set yourself a time limit!

Ensuring you have a limit to the time or the words of your wedding speech is a good idea as if like most people, you’re not a seasoned public speaker it will allow you to give a more impressionable speech containing only the key points of your tale. It’s important that the speech is not too long because this can impact on the timings of the day and also you will loose the attention of your audience if your speech goes on indefinitely. There is nothing worse than boring your audience completely.

2. Content

Content is something to carefully consider when giving a good wedding speech. You want to engage your listeners, so only covering things that you and the person you’re doing the speech for know about, could lead to other guests becoming uninterested. Whereas if you content is broader and more generic it is a sure way to keep everyone interested and makes the overall experience so much more enjoyable. Also be careful to not go too personal, yes the odd anecdote is funny but if you’re a best man offending or insulting the groom it is not going to be well received by his older family members.

3. Test your jokes!

When writing your wedding speech consider your jokes. Are they actually funny or are they going to be met with an awkward silence? Don’t forget as well that it’s a wedding speech not a stand up comedy night, so try to keep jokes to a minimum if you want your speech to seem sincere and personal.

4. Don’t drink too much before giving your speech!

This might seem obvious to most people, but if you’re about to give a speech on someone’s special day it is a good idea to ease up on the bubbly or beers. Forgetting your place on your cue cards or trying to improvise because you’ve had one too many drinks will ruin all of your prior hard work.

5. Know your audience

When delivering your wedding speech, you need to make sure that you know your audience. Often the crowd you’re speaking to is going to contain the newlyweds’ families, so keeping the speech appropriate to the audience is key. You want to ensure that your speech is memorable for the right reasons ending on a toast is a really good idea as it brings everyone together and allows for the high spirts and happiness of the day to continue making that special day truly special.

Order of speeches for UK couples

Traditionally for UK couples the order of the speeches should be as follows :

father of the bride

The father of the bride should:

  • Welcome the guests and thank them for coming

  • Welcome the groom into the family and lead the toasts to absent friends and family

  • Talk about memorable moments of the bride’s childhood (including some funny stories) and compliment her beauty on her wedding day

  • Talk about the couple and their life achievements together

  • Toast the newlyweds

 groom

The groom should:

  • Respond to the speech given by the father of the bride

  • Thank the guests for attending and for travelling to be with them in Italy

  • Thank both sets of parents

  • Compliment his new bride and talk about how they met and how wonderful she is

  • Give out thank you gifts and say a few words about key members of the wedding party. Toast and compliment the bridesmaids

best man

The best man should:

  • Also thank and compliment the bridesmaids

  • Compliment the couple and their choice of wedding location

  • Tell anecdotes about the groom (but nothing offensive!)

  • Read out messages from absent friends and family

  • Lead a final toast to the bride and groom

Order of speeches/toasts for US couples

Our US couples follow a different format for the toasts/speeches compared to our UK brides and grooms and often these are carried out at the rehearsal dinner.

Traditionally, the order of wedding reception toasts is as follows:

  • The best man toasts the bride

  • The maid of honor toasts the groom

  • The wedding host (traditionally the father of the bride) toasts the couple

  • Other parental figures toast the couple

As we mentioned above many of our couples getting married in Italy choose to go completely against tradition and some couples decide not to have speeches at all. The choice is yours of course, you should do whatever you feel works best for you and your family/guests. There are no rules, your wedding day should be perfectly adapted to you both.

We’d love to hear your feedback on what makes a great wedding speech/toast, especially for a destination wedding, so please feel free to comment below.

Victoria Morris