1-1 with Carmela - Italy Wedding Celebrant
Ceremonies in Sorrento & the Amalfi Coast
We welcome the wonderful Carmela Cesarano, Italy Wedding Celebrant, to our blog to chat all things weddings, ceremonies and fun times together!
Tell me a little bit about yourself and how you became a wedding celebrant
Partly, it was destiny: my dad is Italian and my mum’s English. Having grown up in an Italian-English household, speaking both languages and with family and close friends in both countries, I feel physically and emotionally tied to both the UK and Italy. Having lived in each country on different occasions, it was inevitable that I would find myself in a role that allowed me to mix both countries, languages and cultures.
I couldn’t have found a better role! I love words and language and have a passion for writing and story-telling. I am naturally curious and love finding out about people, their lives, their loves and how they met.
It all started about 16 years ago when I moved back to Italy, planning to be here for a year or two (I guess I miscalculated). I began working for a friend of a friend in the wedding industry in an admin role. In the course of my work, I was introduced to a wedding planning company in the north of Italy who thought I’d be perfect as a celebrant and asked me to become their local celebrant for Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast. And, as they say, the rest is history.
I feel so lucky: there is nothing more life-affirming and exhilarating than being part of one of the most wonderful moments in two people’s lives. In my working life I am always
surrounded by happy, smiling faces and the sounds of laughter and celebration. It makes going to work and absolute joy and what could be better than that?
what advice would you give to a couple when considering their wedding ceremony?
A wedding ceremony is a unique and unrepeatable moment in time for two people so it should feel personal and perfect. I believe a wedding ceremony should represent and reflect the couple, their personalities, their likes and loves, their beliefs and their journey through life together.
It can be overwhelming for a couple to begin considering such a significant moment and how they wish it to look and feel, so I begin by guiding my couples in possible ceremony elements for inclusion – this helps them to discover the aspects of a ceremony that they feel are essential.
It can help to consider other ceremonies you have witnessed or participated in and the elements that were most memorable and appealed to you. Sometimes even knowing what you don’t want helps you to discover what you do want!
It is also important to feel inspired by any cultural or traditional elements that appeal to you, but not to be constrained by customs or expectations.
what do you most love about your role?
Aside from being part of one of life’s happiest occasions, I get to hear and tell the most amazing stories…couples who have grown from children to adults together, couples who have been hit by love’s whirlwind, couples who have found one another for the second time.
Every story is different, every story is unique. I am constantly being inspired and amazed by the lovely people who become a part of my ‘wedding family’ and often remain friends over the years.
I am also lucky to work with some of the most talented, creative and kind wedding industry professionals in some of the most breathtaking settings in the whole world!
what are the key ingredients to a meaningful ceremony?
Naturally, every ceremony has its key moments: the entrance, the vows (always such meaningful words), the rings, the first married kiss and the moment the marriage really begins as they walk back down the aisle together and the adventure truly starts!
However, each couple brings their own wishes and wants, their own traditions – both old and new - and their own characters. Capturing and truly representing these is the absolute key ingredient to a truly meaningful and unforgettable ceremony!
what’s been the funniest moment to date in your career?
Oh, goodness, there are really so very many! Occasionally, while reminiscing with someone or viewing archived photos, a past wedding experience or escapade pops into mind and the laughter begins.
There was the deceptively-cute-yet-destructive cat which refused to leave a bride’s beautifully-prepared petal aisle and then began creatively redistributing the petals! Or the reluctant guest, a somewhat truculent toddler, who did not wish to participate in a wedding and so heckled, quite successfully and often hilariously, throughout.
On one historic occasion, at a ceremony in a private villa, a very loud and impromptu party began on a boat in the port below the villa, with a very enthusiastic deejay who tried desperately to participate in our ceremony. Thankfully, the bride, groom and guests all saw the funny side of the situation and a speedy call to the port-master resulted in a return to the desired idyllic tranquillity for the ceremony to proceed!
We, celebrants and planners, try to prepare for every occasion and eventuality, and have a few tricks up our sleeves to deal with the expected and unexpected, but every now and then, something utterly unprecedented occurs and it is always lovely the way couples and their guests respond is a positive way while we ensure normal service is restored!
what’s been the most emotional moment for you?
Again an almost impossible question to answer! I often get a little teary during the exchange of vows (thankfully, as I step aside to clear the scene for the couple and their photographers, during this key moment, a tear or two can escape unnoticed).
Including a rite of remembrance for a lost loved one within a ceremony is such a beautiful touch and it’s a very emotional moment for everyone.
Marrying a couple who had faced difficult times together coping with and overcoming illness, witnessing their love, hopefulness and gratitude was an incredibly humbling and touching experience.
Who inspires you?
I am inspired by my couples, by their stories, by their enthusiasm and by their happiness.
And if I can include a what, or rather a where, I am inspired by the spectacular venues and backdrops that I am lucky enough to enjoy while celebrating ceremonies.
Have you done any particularly unusual ceremonies?
I have held ceremonies on beaches, on mountaintops and on boats bobbing on the water.
Each ceremony I celebrate is unique and distinct in its own way, so it is fair to say that each one feels unique.
I particularly love including family or cultural customs, be it in traditional form or a more modern re-imagining, such as the ancient Celtic tradition of bell-ringing -which we used to welcome the couple’s first kiss and exit along the aisle, balloon release - where each guest made a wish for the couple while releasing a single balloon or the sprinkling of the couple with a traditional Italian ‘confetti’ plate - featuring sugared almonds, rice, coins and flower petals to symbolise wealth, health, happiness and abundance in their life together.
Any special advice on dealing with wedding day nerves?
Nerves are a natural part of the anticipation and excitement of a wedding day, so as long as they are not overwhelming, they aren’t necessarily a bad thing and can help you to feel and appreciate each moment of the day’s events!
Nerves tend to dissipate during or after the ceremony. The most nerve-wracking minutes for a groom or a bride are those spent standing at the top of the aisle waiting for their future spouse to enter and for everything to begin. I always try to coax a smile or a laugh and to relax the tension with a word or two.
Beyond the usual tips to take a deep breath, remain calm and not to lock your knees, I would say to try to be present with all of your senses and to truly live each moment as it happens. Butterflies in the tummy are mostly unavoidable and it wouldn’t be such a significant occasion without them, after all, it is one of the most special and important days of a person’s life!
Finally what impact do you think Covid-19 will have on destination weddings in Sorrento & the Amalfi Coast?
These are really surreal and sad times and for the moment I honestly don’t think we are able to imagine what impact Covid-19 will have on our lives in general, in the coming weeks and months.
With regards to weddings, once the better times are here, I definitely think people will be more eager than ever to travel, to celebrate and, where possible, to combine the two. I think there will be a lot more thankfulness, having overcome these difficult times, people will have a greater appreciation for freedom, beauty and life’s happy moments.
During this pause, nature is taking a chance to refresh and repair herself, the rivers are becoming cleaner, the air fresher, there are dolphins swimming close to shore and beauty is blooming everywhere. The outdoors we return to will be fresher, brighter and more beautiful and we will be seeing it all through wiser and more appreciative eyes. I think the experiences of recent and current times will make us more thankful for our surroundings and events and will give added significance to our celebrations - especially in settings as already spectacular as Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast.
“I think those couples who have, sadly, had to postpone the fulfilment of their wedding dreams, will find their celebrations even more special and significant than they ever could have imagined! ”
Photography courtesy of : Pasquale Mestizia, Joab Smith, JoAnne Dunn and Light & Lace Photography